This past week Wait Wait Don't Tell Me did some funny bits at the beginning about undecided voters. And I have been wondering, can there really be undecided voters at this point? I don't think so. Unless they are morons or have just woken from a coma.
Here's some more thoughts on the undecided from one of my favorite commentators on society.
"For as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. 'Who are they?' the news anchors ask. 'And how might they determine the outcome of this election?'
Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. 'Well, Charlie,' they say, 'I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!' Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.
I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?
To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?' she asks. 'Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?'
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?...
I wonder if, in the end, the undecideds aren’t the biggest pessimists of all. Here they could order the airline chicken, but, then again, hmm. 'Isn’t that adding an extra step?' they ask themselves. 'If it’s all going to be chewed up and swallowed, why not cut to the chase, and go with the platter of shit?'
Ah, though, that’s where the broken glass comes in."
Read the rest of David Sedaris' essay in the Oct. 27th issue of The New Yorker.
I, by the way, am not undecided. Not in the slightest, though I admit to some indecision during the primaries.
But now, I am fully committed to my candidate. And for the first time in my life I have voted for someone who not only has a really good chance of winning, but whom I really really like. A lot. Yes, I voted for Barak Obama, instead of voting for the Democrat because he is not the Republican.
I cannot wait to see what he is going to do when he is President.
And I cannot wait to have my library back from the insanity of being a place to vote. I must retire before the next Presidential election hits the libraries.